It has occurred to me that I wanted to share a fact about how to survive being swallowed by a whale. You see, my mission is to provide an outreach channel to inform my three daily viewers, uhm I mean the vast amounts of daily viewers I have. (Shoutout to dad for actually clicking on the blog!) And so today I would like to save peoples lives by explaining how to survive if you are swallowed by a whale.
*Side note: You are more likely to die of electrocution when reading this post, than you are likely to be swallowed by a whale. (I did not research that so please don't sue me.)
Anyways, there are three major steps on how to not die getting swallowed by a whale. But first, I want to let you know that the only whale where you can actually fit into it's throat is the sperm whale. The other whales will have to spit you out. Step one: bunch up into a ball when you are taken in. This will make the chances of you getting an arm bitten off slimmer. (Honestly, if this is the first advice I have to give you, I might as well ask you for what funeral home you would prefer.) Step two: if the whale doesn't spit you out, grab something so you don't get swallowed. Try to grab that thing that hangs in the back of it's mouth. Step three: if you do get swallowed hope that you are wearing one of those suits that keep you warm in cold water and don't forget an oxygen tank. The suit might prevent the acid from burning you and the tank will provide the air needed to survive.
Now wait in the whale's stomach until the whale vomits you out. Sperm whale have to vomit every few hours to digest so you might be in luck. Even if you get vomited out though, you're probably still going to die. Wait why, you may ask. Well my child, what if I told you that sperm whales dive the depth of three empire state buildings? Or what about the fact that they can hold their breath for 90 minutes? You see my child, the chances of you being vomited out at a depth that practically turns you into a smash burger is pretty high. RIP
Great info, when i was in the marines, i was on a battle ship and decided to take a swim on my captains birthday. He let me so I was willing to do anything to cool down in the water. I saw a whale but i thought to myself " that shouldnt be that bad" so i continued taking a swim. As I took a dive the whale pounced on me and ate me. I looked at my phone and this popped up which really helped me and i got out after 2 weeks. That was 3 weeks ago and this thing saved my life, so bless you kind writer.
ReplyDeleteOh dont worry about it! You see I was in a submarine at about half a million feet under the ocean when I thought of this post. We were practicing naval attacks on moving targets. We decided to start blasting whales and I thought about this post. Well, actually I was thinking about how a whale might survive if they were swallowed whole by a human. We were really deep underwater so I had to transmit the story via morse code. The only problem was that North Korea was testing nukes which kind of disrupted the signal. This disruption caused the article to say the opposite of what it's supposed to say. So now here is an article for whales on how to survive in a humans stomach turned into a guide for humans to survive in a whale's stomach.
DeleteNice post. I also note the attention to legal implications….does this have to do with genetics?
ReplyDeleteI don't know, you're the expert. (Does your name start with an "L" by any chance?)
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